Small Blessings
by Rose9797
Summary: When Jim is troubled and finds himself unable to ask for help, Spock offers unasked. Bones, for once, can thank the stars for small blessings. Mild fluff. COMPLETE.


"Captain?"

Kirk was shaken out of his reverie as his eyes wandered confusedly to the source of his disturbance. He noticed Spock looking at him placidly (to the casual observer), but Jim had been in his company long enough to notice the light crease marring his forehead. Jim became aware of the number of eyes trained towards him and realized he had been asked something and he had no clue as to what it might be.

Jim smiled wanly "I'm sorry, Spock. Got distracted a bit. What were you sayin'?"

Jim winced as the last word came out as a light drawl. He sounded tired even to his own ears. Spock looked at him inquisitively, no doubt having noticed the same as he patiently told "I merely wanted to inform you that the minor damage on the starboard side of the hull has been repaired. Mr. Scott has submitted the damage reports that are awaiting your perusal in your quarters."

"Ah," Kirk replied thoughtfully, his brain bereft of bigger words. "Well, I'll take it there," he said trying hard to look casual and ignoring the pounding in his head as he stood up. "Take the conn," he said to no one in particular as he made his way to the turbolift, and trying studiously to avoid the furtive glances his crew were shooting at him. He sagged against the wall of the turbolift in relief as the doors closed, and massaged his temples. He hated headaches. _Who didn't?_

He realized he'd been standing in the turbolift without announcing where he had wanted to go. He quickly remembered what Spock had said and announced tiredly "Deck 2."

oOo

Spock had found himself concerned about the behavior of his captain for the past two days. They had been drifting on impulse well within Federation Space, monitoring the XE-51 Comet that crossed Andoria once in 356 years. The phenomenon had been witnessed only once previously and the technology in Andoria then had been insufficient to study the comet.

The Enterprise had docked for a quick stop in Andorian space for refueling and had found the prospect of witnessing the rare phenomenon worthy of delaying their next mission to observe and study the comet. His Science team had been excited about the prospect and Spock was deigned to agree that it had been a worthwhile effort.

Meanwhile, the Captain having no interest in the minutia of the Comet's details save for appreciating the aesthetic visual it provided, had buried himself with logs and reports in the Starfleet database in preparation for the next mission, which involved the Enterprise heading towards Cardassia for a peace treaty agreement with one of its neighboring planets that was a recent member to the Federation, with the Enterprise serving as the mediator.

Spock had noted the Captain missing a shift altogether the previous day and when confronted had apologized saying he had been asleep. Never one to tolerate tardiness, Spock had quoted regulations to the visibly exhausted Captain who had then sheepishly apologized and promised not to repeat it again. Now that Spock could think about it, he remembered the captain looking bone-tired with red-rimmed eyes. _Intriguing_. Jim had said that he had slept through an entire shift and yet Spock could not shake the fact that the Captain had been lying to him.

As he was musing in silence and working diligently at his console, he received the message from Mr. Scott about the report that had also been sent to the Captain's PADD. Spock turned to inform the captain and before he could speak, he noted the Captain's posture and his unusual silence in the bridge for the past two days. The captain was slightly hunched with one hand resting on the armrest and the other supporting his chin as he watched transfixed at the viewscreen. Spock turned to look at the object of the Captain's unwavering interest and was met with the dark envelope of space, nary a star in sight. The ship was not under warp and the comet had passed approximately 6.3 hours ago. There was nothing to watch through the viewscreen which led Spock to believe that the captain was lost in his thoughts, as he seemed so likely to be lately.

He called in the silence "Captain?"

Every eye in the bridge quickly turned to look first at him and then at the Captain, who seemed not to have heard him. Spock's eyes glanced around the bridge and everyone was professional enough to hurriedly look into their console. Spock stood up as he called out louder "Captain?"

The Captain winced minutely as he looked up to meet his eyes and Spock noted a hint of confusion in them and found himself wondering for the third time what was occupying the Captain's mind. Kirk smiled humorlessly and apologized for getting distracted. Spock wanted to make some comment about how that was all he had been lately and decided against saying so in the bridge which would have been tantamount to insubordination in his books. Instead, he patiently informed him about Mr. Scott's report, altering it mildly to tell that they were in his quarters. The Captain didn't seem to wonder about the oddity of receiving a normal report in his quarters but seemed almost relieved to get off the bridge. _Odd_ , Spock thought, the Bridge was his favorite part of the ship. And, he was only two hours into Alpha shift to want to leave so quickly.

The captain asked him to take the conn (Spock presumed it was addressed to him) as he entered the turbolift and looked diligently at the floor as the doors closed. Spock kept an eye on the level indicator outside the turbolift which had not moved for 36 seconds, before changing to indicate movement. Spock looked at the turbolift doors and wondered if he should call Dr. McCoy to confront the captain, but thought otherwise. The Doctor was taking care of two critical patients who had transported to the Enterprise from a private shuttle due to a radiation leak, which was one of the reasons the doctor had not known about the captain's odd behavior these past days. No, it was Spock's _duty_ (there was mild concern too, but he was not going to acknowledge that, even to himself) as First Officer to care for the well-being of the Captain and with that thought in mind he headed to the turbolift offering the conn to Mr. Sulu.

oOo

Jim went inside his quarters as the lights turned on automatically. He sagged into his couch, which he had to admit, was far more comfier than the Captain's chair, and clenched his eyes shut. He felt pressure behind his eyes, like someone was pushing his eyes out from their sockets and tried to press them in with his hands, as if for fear they would come out.

"Lights, ten percent" and groaned in relief as the assault to his eyes lessened.

He started to wonder why he had come in here during Alpha shift in the first place, when the door to his quarters buzzed before opening to admit Spock. Jim jumped up from the immensely comfortable couch, almost missing the plush material under him for even a second. The sudden movement caused a sense of vertigo and his vision tunneled. Miraculously, he held his feet to the ground firmly, even though he could see nothing but darkness for a couple of seconds, before his vision cleared. A tingling sensation at the back of his skull was all that was left of the sudden drop in his blood pressure. Jim tried to smile warmly and unabashedly ignored the fact that his First Officer just witnessed him huddled in his couch during his duty shift, as he asked "What brings you here, Spock?"

Spock looked at him for three seconds straight before he moved away from the door and the doors slid shut. The room was engulfed in very dim light, which would be a sure giveaway to his plight. Jim cleared his throat as he ordered the lights at eighty percent, valiantly ignoring the daggers impaling his eyes. Spock's eyebrows drew together as he asked "Captain, are you unwell?"

Jim tried to look nonchalant as he asked "What gave you that idea, Spock?"

"You have been increasingly unaware of your surroundings during your shift for the past two days and your eyes are bloodshot. If I were also to mention that you do not seem to be tolerating the lighting and that you have not denied my question, I would deem myself correct in assuming so."

Jim sighed, all pretense of ignoring the harsh lights gone as he squinted "I'm fine."

"Jim" Spock said and that one word and the weight of concern behind it was enough for Jim to surrender. He sighed again, "It's nothing, Spock. Just a little headache."

"Jim, surely 'just a little headache' would not persist for as long as it has," Spock said chastising.

Jim sank down into the couch again and motioned for Spock to occupy the adjacent one. Spock sat down fluidly, eyes fixed on Jim. Spock continued when no explanation was forthcoming. "I shall inform sickbay imm-", Jim snapped "That won't be necessary."

Spock was mildly incensed by the human's illogical statements "In that case, I would have no choice as your First Officer but to relieve you from duty until you make sure to visit sickbay."

As predicted, the human's exhaustion vanished as he sat up alert and pointed accusingly at Spock "You wouldn't dare!"

"You leave me no choice, Jim" Spock said in a quiet voice. Jim calmed when Spock used his name again as he sighed yet again "It's just…lack of sleep. I'm having a worst case of insomnia at the moment, not to mention the resulting headache. I don't really need help. I can manage this on my own."

Spock looked at him questioningly, before ordering softly "Lights, ten percent."

Jim let out a relieved sigh as he massaged his temples. Spock was unable to understand the logic of his statement, "Surely, you could have been administered appropriate medicine at the sickbay for your circumstances?"

"Yes, I could have, but I don't want to. I'm not sure Bones would really appreciate any sort of disturbances right now, and definitely not something as trivial as being an insomniac."

"That is illogical, Captain, as the Chief Medical Officer's primary duty is toward the – "

"Captain, I know," he nodded grimacing. "Whoever came up with that rule had no sense of priority, I say."

Spock chose to change tactics, "Captain… Jim, may I inquire as to why you are having trouble sleeping?"

"It's just," Jim hesitated before continuing, "Well, the other day I was reading up on the history of the Cardassians when I stumbled on the genocides that had occurred in the planet in the past. Real bloody, I tell you. And then, I came upon this incident in Raelia III, and it just…"

Jim quieted and Spock understood. Tarsus IV was a subject they had both discussed before and Jim had promised he had dealt with it effectively when he was young. But, memories were not easily forgotten.

Spock felt a pang of sympathy for his captain and also gratitude to the Universe for having him alive and whole before him.

Jim continued, looking at his hands resting on his lap, "I don't want Bones to be worried about me right now. Knowing him, he'd go into full on over-protective mode and I really don't think I can deal with that right now. Neither can he."

Spock said quietly "You could have come to me."

Jim looked up sharply from his somber thoughts "You? What could you have done?" he asked genuinely curious.

If he were human, Spock would have been offended, but Spock let it slide "I can assist you with your sleeping troubles, if you would want it captain."

Jim looked at him mouth half-opened and Spock understood the human expression of one becoming 'dumbstruck'. His lips twitched in amusement and Jim came to himself.

"Of course, I would want it. You have any idea, how annoying it is to want to sleep but just can't, no matter how hard you try. I'm not even getting nightmares for crying out loud, and yet I can't sleep."

Spock acquiesced with a slight tilt of his head. Jim looked at Spock and a hint of nervousness washed his face "Um… you won't go probing in too deep, will you?"

Spock calmly spoke "You have my word, Jim."

Jim nodded, satisfied as he moved forward to the edge of his couch and Spock shook his head "It would be wise for you to lie in your bed, captain. I do intend to let you sleep after this." Jim nodded as he stood up and headed to his sleeping quarters. He took off his Command gold shirt and tossed it to the side. Spock's eyebrow rose unbidden as he watched Jim's lack of tidiness but was wise not to comment. Jim shook off his boots and climbed into his bed in his uniform. Spock would have been most uncomfortable years earlier if he was present in his captain's sleeping quarters. But years of living with the dynamo that was Jim Kirk, he had simply gotten used to it. Jim scooted to the side to let Spock sit on his bedside. Spock gave a slight nod as indication for Jim to close his eyes as he lightly touched his fingers to Jim's pressure points whispering "My mind to your mind…"

Instantly, Spock felt a pang of pain behind his eyes and recognized it as Jim's. He tried to slowly ease the pain and it reduced to a dull thrumming. Spock then saw the familiar visual of the world bursting into color, awash with a range of emotions, of fear, desperation, grief and anger but also present were relief, contentment and the warm emotions of affection, acceptance and trust that Spock had enjoyed the most out of the one previous mind meld with this human. He continued to be amazed at the emotional range of humans, a fact he had also expressed to Nyota on multiple occasions during their mind melds.

 _Hey, won't your girlfriend be looking for you?_ Jim's thought became his as he replied non-verbally _I am not the only member of your crew who noticed their captain's fatigue._

 _Oh_ , was the only response but the answering surge of pride in his crew spoke volumes of what he felt at the moment. Spock had to admit he had wanted to be in Jim's mind again after one previous attempt when Jim had become overly inquisitive when learning about them from Vulcan culture.

A resulting wave of want and satisfaction rippled through him and he realized he was not the only one who had wanted this. _Who wouldn't, Spock? It's like I get to see a whole new perspective of you._

Spock wondered what Jim could feel of him at the moment. Suddenly, illogically, Spock felt humbled and realized it was Jim's emotion for which Spock answered _As do I, Jim._

Spock , though he could bask in the warmth if Jim's emotions forever, chose then to coax Jim's mind to shut down, wrapping up his conscience gently as if he were wrapping his mother's favorite crystal glass in cloth when he had been younger.

The gentle vibrations of Jim's consciousness and the slow transcendence of the bright colors to dark blues and blacks were oddly soothing. Spock found himself lulled to sleep before he could begin to think about extricating himself from the mind meld.

oOo

Dr. McCoy had had one very busy day just like the day before and would gladly love to have company right now that wasn't wearing medical scrubs, patient or otherwise. The two patients were out of danger but were still kept on watch, before they would be sent back to their shuttle that would take them back to Andoria for further treatment. He ran a hand through his already frazzled hair as he entered his office to the reports waiting for him on his desk. He started signing them off when he had half a mind to call down Jim or even Spock for a chat. God knew he could use a friendly face right now that could make him forget about his CMO duties.

He pressed his intercom "McCoy to Bridge."

Instead of the cheerful voice of Jim he heard Sulu calmly replying "This is Sulu."

McCoy's brows furrowed as he tried to remember Jim's duty shift for the day. Convinced, he was right in assuming that it was now, he asked "Where's Jim?"

"The Captain retired to his quarters to sign off on some reports."

"During his duty shift?" and he quickly concluded that Spock must not be on the bridge too as Sulu had the conn. Before Sulu could answer, he asked gruffly "Well, then where's Spock?"

"The Commander left the bridge to attend to some urgent matter nearly an hour ago."

McCoy noted how Sulu didn't seem to know what that 'urgent matter' was. It was not unlike Spock to leave without providing a good reason. But, McCoy knew that only happened when it involved the Captain.

Before McCoy could say something Sulu continued "Doctor, I think it would be wise if you made sure the captain is alright. He has been looking downright exhausted since yesterday which I'm sure is the reason why Commander Spock sent him to his quarters to read the reports."

This was news to him. "Thanks. McCoy out."

McCoy got up from his office to find Jim. He was almost grateful for the opportunity to stretch his legs. He went up to Jim's quarters 'cause he only knew where he was at the moment and hit the buzzer. When no reply was forthcoming, he entered the unlocked door. The buzzer was just a formality to let Jim know he was coming in of course. Jim never found any reason to always keep his quarters secured in his own ship.

McCoy entered into the dimly lit quarters, he could hardly see where he was going after too many hours in the harsh lights of sickbay. _Jim wasn't working then_ , he thought and the empty chair and desk were proof of that.

Alarm coursed through him as he arrived at the conclusion that Jim must be unwell or sick in his room and he sprinted into his sleeping quarters, privacy be damned.

He halted as he took in the sight before him, though it wasn't hard to decipher in the dull starlight that travelled through Jim's viewport. Jim was curled up in sleep on one edge of the bed looking blissfully unaware that a certain pointy-eared hobgoblin was sharing his bed. McCoy's eyebrows rose in surprise at the scene in front of him. He noted Spock's right hand was in an awkward position, fingertips grazing Jim's hair on his temples. Mind-meld, McCoy realized. No doubt the reason why Spock hadn't gotten up when he had rang the buzzer. And if what Sulu said was true, he could immediately put together what had happened here. _Poor Spock, he isn't going to get up unless Jim did._ Which could be hours from now. Well, at least they were alive and resting, instead of hurting or dying. McCoy could definitely thank the Universe for small blessings.

That didn't stop him from snapping a holo-pic on his PADD as potential blackmail material before leaving though. McCoy howled in laughter as he exited Jim's quarters to the confused glances of the crew. He would have Jim and Spock wrapped under his little finger for quite some time.

oOo

 **A/N: I'm still alive. I realized the only way to get out of an unhealthy fanfic reading obsession was to engage in writing fanfics. Said reading obsession, is the cause of the same kind of insomnia as Jim that I am experiencing which led to this fanfic. I admit, I had a different plan than what's on paper but that's how my muse works I guess. Reviews are much appreciated and will fuel my return to writing for this fandom. Thank you primara for the suggestion!**


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